Thursday, October 18, 2007

music moves me

to laugh, and sing, and cry. i sat dining with my aunt by the bay in san pedro, and as we were conversing, i lost my train of thought. my ears were filled with music. it had been nothing but background noise, until this song. the chords made my insides churn and my heart want to break. there has to be a science to the construction of a song. there must be something in the movements, the arrangement, the sharps and flats and crescendoing moments that evoke such emotions. i was perfectly happy, until i heard this song. the harmonies composed using those minor chords made my chest ache. i wanted to curl into a ball in my mother's lap (all the way in new mexico) and cry.

the eerie strain "be-cauuuuuse the sky is blue....it makes me cryyyyyy becaaaaaause, the sky...is bluuuuuue" wafting over the restaurant's stereo system sent chills down my spine. i remembered this song. it was playing when i saw cirque du soliel in las vegas. love. at the mirage. it had the same effect on me then. i felt as though i could turn myself inside out with sadness, and would still be unable to escape the haunting melody. so instead i sat transfixed by the contorting dancers as i embraced the unexpected rawness in my heart.

i have never been able to sit through an entire symphony without wanting to cry. especially the requiems. as the music swells and the chorus comes in, the timpanys rolling, i am on the edge of my seat, involuntarily clutching the program and i can feel my heart as it beats faster. one of my favorite movie soundtracks is the last of the mohicans, and i don't even like yanni, but the theme song gives me goosebumps.

i began playing the clarinet when i was in the fourth grade, and the first time i had the pleasure of going to see real musicians play in a grand symphony hall, i was hooked. i have since had a great appreciation for well built theaters with good acoustics that let you feel the music, be engulfed by it. it has been much too long. i think i know what i am going to do this weekend. hello symphony, my dear old friend, i did not realize how much i missed you...

Thursday, October 4, 2007

bitter biker syndrome

i love riding my bike to work, the entire half mile commute. it takes me less than 5 minutes to get there if i catch the light just right. i go home everyday for lunch, and sometimes, catch a quick cat nap. i am helping the environment, saving on gas money, and getting a bit (albeit a very tiny bit) of exercise. so why am i bitter? i am bitter at the tax credits for people who buy hybrid vehicles. it just doesn't seem fair. yes, it is a delayed response, the credit was enacted 2 years ago. yes i know, cry me a river, but logic should dictate that anyone who does their due diligence to ease the burden on the environment should be eligible for some sort of tax break.

granted, there are some challenges in proving that you do indeed bike to work, but what of all the commuters who take public transportation and have a monthly pass of some sort? they are helping unclog the highways for all of those hybrid vehicles. i am going to lobby for a bikers tax credit! all of those hard peddling men and women deserve to be acknowledged in some way. after all, not only are they being "green," but also easing the burden on the health care system, working out is the best preventative medicine. people who work out should get a break for that too, or at least a reduction in their health insurance premiums, i should start a letter writing campaign to my local senator...

life is just not fair. woe is me. now i retire to wallow in my sorrow.