Plagiarism

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I do not disagree, with the exception of theft. If someone does not attribute their imitation to the source, they are lying. Plain and simple. In this, the Internet age, it has become far too easy to co-opt an original work. There is a word for this, it is called plagiarism.

pla·gia·rism
ˈplājəˌrizəm
noun

1. the practice of taking someone else's work or ideas and passing them off as one's own.

What prompted this thought? I had something on my heart and Googled a phrase. Within the top three search results were two separate blog posts, one from 2013 another from 2009, with identical content. The 2013 post was clearly masquerading as original because it made no mention of the earlier post. This made me quite angry because, as a blogger, the thoughts I share are often personal and shared from my heart. Were I to repost content that I did not write, I would be sure to identify it as such, anything else would be disingenuous.

When I encounter an injustice, no matter how small, I do not sit idly by. I sent an email to the original poster alerting him to the plagiarized post. The kicker? Both of the blogs were written by church Pastors.

"For nothing is hidden, except to be revealed; nor has anything been secret, but that it would come to light." - Matthew 4:22

Deceptive Marketing

I am a skeptic. Not with everything, but when it comes to any form of marketing, especially those that do not name a specific company or entity and make unsubstantiated and vague claims about available offers, I am (skeptical).

I just want to post a PSA. I received this "notice" on my door today:

 My suspicion was immediately aroused. I did a reverse look up of the phone number on the Yellow Pages, but it yielded no results. I then researched the Arizona Renewable Energy Standard, which states that utility companies have until 2025 to generate 15% of their energy from renewable resources. Clearly, I am not a utility company. I was greatly annoyed that someone would attempt to bait me into calling by posting an official looking notice on my door stating I was eligible for a rebate. I figure that they papered the entire neighborhood in the hopes that some (poor soul) would call. I am not the one. In fact, quite the opposite. I have filed the following complaint with the Arizona Attorney General's Office:

To Whom It May Concern:

I received the enclosed letter from an unnamed company/entity on or around December 4, 2013. The letter does not state who they are, however, the language used is both deceptive and incorrect.

As a private residence, I do not qualify for any form of incentive under the Arizona Renewable Energy Standard, which states that utility companies have until 2025 to generate 15% of their energy from renewable resources. Moreover, the code cited, AAC R14-2-1801, explicitly defines "Affected Utility" as "A Public service corporation serving retail electric load in Arizona."

I would like to file a complaint against whomever is posting these letters on the doors of homes in my community. I did not call the phone number, but strongly suspect that if I did, I would be subjected to a hard sale, attempting to use an incorrectly cited law to lure me into purchasing a good or service under the guise of receiving a rebate.

I appreciate your attention to this matter.

If you receive this notice, or anything like it, I would advise that you also file a complaint. We have protections as consumers. I will not be lied to or bullied. Civic duty for the day -- done.

Sabbatical: Push

I spoke to a friend tonight who, after 8 years of desperately wanting to leave, finally put in her two weeks notice at work. She confessed that she was waiting to be fired or laid off. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, was a situation that exposed the extent to which her contributions and work ethic were not valued, and that was just the push she needed. This reminded me of a moment I had written about while on sabbatical.

September 26, 2013:
No matter how badly you want to leave where you are, sometimes, you have to be pushed, literally. I went zip lining yesterday and at one point we did a "Tarzan Swing." Looking out over the beautiful expansive forest I could only think of one thing -- this is high, I am afraid. The staff on either side of me assured me that I was secure and to squat a little, place my hands on the rope and...jump? No. I planted my feet and did not move. That's when I felt a knee in my back and I was gently, but firmly, shoved off of the platform. My scream quickly morphed into laughter as I began to oscillate back and forth over the Monte Verde Cloud Forest. I was having fun. I would have stayed on that platform forever, paralyzed by fear if left to my own devices. Then I watched as, one by one, everyone who came after me experienced the same thing. They had to push everyone! The self preservation instinct to stay where it was safe had stymied everyone, even the strong guys.

Being pushed from the platform in Monteverde

The sabbatical lesson? Jump. In my life I am striving to jump. I don't want to wait to be pushed, but rather (I want) to have the confidence, the faith, that if I take the leap, not only will I be secure, but I just might have the time of my life doing it.

Selah.

Sabbatical: Strange places, familiar faces

It turns out that it is a small world after all.

I don't believe in coincidence and so when I run into someone multiple times, I take note and make certain to exchange information, because I believe there is some significance in the meeting. I expect that I will encounter people that I know in my home town, the last thing that I would have expected was for this to be a common occurrence while vacationing. Here are a collection of stories that illustrate just how comforting it is to reconnect with familiar faces, in unfamiliar places.

The first night I arrived in San Jose, Costa Rica, I met Patrick, a jokester from Germany who liked to tease me incessantly about the Walmart loving, burger eating, gun-loving, truck driving Americans. We were both beginning our journeys. On our last night in San Jose before striking out for other areas of the country, Costa Rica won entrance into the World Cup. To say that they were excited, would be the understatement of the century. The entire Country celebrated, and we just so happened to be positioned a few short blocks from the mayhem. It started with an eruption of cheers and before we knew it, the street in front of the hostel had been transformed into an impromptu parade, complete with drummers, vendors selling paraphernalia and vuvuzelas. Together, Patrick and I decided to join in the revelry. Traffic had come to a standstill, and no one seemed to care. The street was filled with people high fiving, hugging and jogging around the traffic circle chanting "Ole ole ole ole...Tico, Tico!" This continued for hours. I have never seen anything like it.

Patrick and I at the traffic circle in San Jose after the World Cup berth

That same night when I returned, a few new people had come to the hostel. Ana, also from Germany, had arrived and was chatting with a few other travelers on the couch in the common room. Each of her sentences was punctuated with an animated gesture and a bubbly smile, I liked her immediately. We ended up chatting until 2:00AM about where we intended to go and what we would like to do while in the country. I gave Ana my email address and told her to send me a message so I could let her know what activities or experiences I encountered that I liked, since she had arrived without a plan. When I left the next morning to travel to Arenal, I said a brief goodbye to Annette, a hostel employee from Boston whose parents were originally from Portugal.

Upon arriving in Arenal, I met a couple from Texas who twice provided a much appreciated ride in their rental. We bid each  other a fond farewell after a couple of days and I proceeded to the next leg of my trip, Cartago, where I would spend the weekend with my good friend, Irene. She introduced me to her bestie; a Biologist with a penchant for humor, spectacular spectacles and a rapier wit, Maca. Together we explored the Irazu Volcano and Tapanti National Park

Exploradores: Myself, Irene and Maca at Tapanti

From Cartago, I headed to Manuel Antonio and a new hostel, Vista Serena, I met my roommate a German by the name of Anja. I smiled and told my new acquaintance the story of the first German Ana. I wondered what she was up to, since I had never received an email. Here, I also met a pair of friends, one of whom was Dave, an Englander who had survived cancer and was on a two year round the world trip, blogging to inspire other survivors to live their dreams. The next day, Anja and I visited the National Park and enjoyed a lunch by an ocean side cafe. As I sat gazing contentedly out at the sea, devouring my coconut ice cream, I saw them, the couple from Arenal! I called out and we laughed at the likelihood of having run into one another. They decided to have lunch at the same cafe.

The 2nd Anja and I in Manuel Antonio

Anja and I returned to the hostel so she could catch her shuttle to Monteverde and I sat down to enjoy the afternoon showers with a spectacular panoramic view from the hostel balcony. September in Costa Rica is part of what is marketed as "The Green Season," a gimmicky name for rainy. True to form, each afternoon around 3:00PM, the showers would begin and last well into the evening. It was during the rainstorm that a few new guests arrived. There was an Indian man by the name of Dhaval (who went by Dave for us Westerners) who was living in New York and decided to take a last minute trip to Costa Rica...on whim. As "Dave" and I discussed our experiences and plans, a second newbie arrived. I turned to say hello and immediately both of us let out peals of laughter, it was Ana, from Hostel Urbano! After she and I greeted one another she turned to Dave and laughed again, "You!!!" she exclaimed. Apparently, they had crossed paths earlier in their journey as well. "Your email bounced back, I must have typed it incorrectly" Ana explained, I smiled and replied "I guess we were meant to reconnect," and we once again shared an evening of laughter as the rain continued to pour.

Both Ana and Irene had told me of a river, Rio Celeste, that had the most unearthly blue water and was just outside of La Fortuna. My first time visiting, La Fortuna, it rained heavily and I assumed that the water would be muddy and thus, not worth visiting, so I skipped it. I had also bypassed the hot springs and was chastised by every person I spoke for not having soaked in the naturally heated waters. With my time in Costa Rica winding down, I was determined to see that river and since I would be in La Fortuna anyway, I supposed I would soak in the springs. I left from Monteverde determined to make it to Rio Celeste, and on the ride over, the rains started. I arrived in La Fortuna and checked into a new hostel, Arenal Hostel Resort, which really, was quite like a little oasis and a steal at $12 per night. Upon check in, I inquired about visiting Rio Celeste, I was told (what I already knew) that it was not recommended given the rains. As I exited the front office I heard someone call out "Hey! Were you at Hostel Urbano?" and there was Annette walking toward me, we decided to go on the Volcano Hike the next morning.

Annette and I at my farewell lunch

For my final evening in Costa Rica, I decided to go full circle and end where I began, at Hostel Urbano. Upon checkin, I turned to see the travel companion of Dave the Survivor and she told me he had set out for Nicaragua, she would be returning to England in the morning. I set out for the ballet and returned that evening, tired and ready for a good night's sleep. On my final day in Costa Rica, Irene and I went to breakfast and she told me that Maca would have joined us, but he had company in town. We enjoyed our food and I recounted the many tales of reconnecting with people throughout my trip. She told me that Maca would be in San Jose later that day if we were able to meet up. After breakfast, walked over to the University and through the library before returning to the hostel. When I did, I was told someone had called for me, darn! I had missed connecting with Maca. I decided to walk into San Jose to photograph the graffiti murals, and 20 minutes into my walk, as I neared the city center, I heard someone call out my name. I turned to see Maca and his friend walking toward me smiling broadly, we spent the afternoon together at the museums. 

Maca and I in San Jose

When I returned to the hostel for my final evening, Annette had returned from La Fortuna and the hostel was abuzz with new activity. I could only shake my head and laugh when Patrick, the German from my first night in Costa Rica, appeared and began to tease me about Americans and our Football. It would only seem right to end my trip where it began, and to find that it is always a comfort to encounter a familiar face in a strange  place and that a place, once unfamiliar, can become like a lighthouse --welcoming you back like an old friend.

Patrick and I leaving to our next destinations at San Jose Airport

Sabbatical: Lessons from the backpackers

I have been traveling now for five weeks, a pittance compared to some of the people I have met, but the longest trip I have ever taken. When all is said and done, I will have been on the road, away from home, for six weeks. In that time, I have visited four countries, and several cities within each country. I couldn't decide how to share the stories I have captured to date: Topical? By country? I started with what I put in my bag, I could (and I will) talk about the places I've visited, but the more profound lessons for me, have been from the people I met along the way.

For those who don't know me, I am something of a planner. I have always had a calendar, be it paper, or now Google, but scheduling is second nature to me. When I say "hold on, let me check my calendar" I don't mean to be pretentious, I honestly do have to check because without my appointments saved, I would never know where I am supposed to be, or when. This is both a blessing and a curse. Once, when I was still analog, I lost my planner and had a sickening sense of anxiety until I found it. I was definitely not what could be considered a "free spirit" in the way of just seeing where the day could take me.  For my sabbatical, I wanted to escape the tyranny of a schedule. That all started with the one bag, the agility to easily pack up and go, but I was in for a big lesson on what it means to truly be a free spirited traveler.

Let me start by introducing Hostel Urbano, the place where my journey begins. I'd never stayed in a hostel before, in fact, my only exposure was by hearsay from Hollywood horror movies, so needless to say, I was skeptical at best. On the recommendation of a trusted friend, I chose this as my first stop in Costa Rica. It set the tone for my entire trip, in so many ways.

The dining room table in Hostel Urbano

The second I walked through the door, I was greeted like an old friend. As new people arrived, I had the pleasure of meeting one amazing individual after the next, all on a journey of discovery in some regard; The bubbly German woman I met my last night who had arrived without a plan, the Canadian writer who was working on his science fiction novel, the cook turned dive instructor, the two Americans who had decided to move to Costa Rica for a couple of months and work at the hostel in exchange for room and board. What is it about travel that makes us feel that we will somehow be transformed? I think it is the removal from our daily routine. It is inevitable that when we leave our comfort zones, we will have to learn something about who we are, and make decisions about what we really want.

Not knowing what came next used to cause me a great deal of anxiety, but in meeting so many people who were willing to improvise their vacations, I began to "see the light." Backpackers are some of the most agile people I've ever met. By not having a set plan, they easily adapt to the moment. If loving where they are, they stay another day, hating where they are? They hop on a bus and get on with life. Sometimes we stay when we should go because it was "part of the plan." We stay in unhealthy relationships long past their expiration date, we continue working jobs that make us sick, we are so tied to the comfort of the known we allow it to dictate our path. As my vacation progressed, I found myself looking forward to arriving somewhere new, and free-styling.

I am not advocating that you leave everything in life to chance, some things you actually need to reserve in advance, but leave enough freedom to adapt. In life, as we all know, the unexpected happens. You cannot control the circumstances, only your response to them. I have seen many different responses...stressed out people at wits end on the verge of missing flights (you will make or miss the flight, regardless of how stressed out you are, so chill!), angry people trying to turn a situation in their favor (speaking more loudly in threatening manner will not endear service people to you, be kind, it gets you further in life), but my favorite are those who take stock of the situation and make the most of it. I will end this with an application of my lessons from the backpackers:

1. Be agile: Be open to change and ready to make the necessary adjustments
2. Make the most of the moment: You cannot change what has already happened, so, when life gives you lemons, make a souffle! 

An excerpt from my journal on Sept 11, 2013:

I couldn't be further removed from the chaos that marked this day in 2001...Today, as I walked around wondering what I would do, and how I would get there, I stopped myself and said 'Enjoy the journey.' Life is as much about the 'in between' the 'meantime' as it is the end goal and destination. The dive instructor that I met at the hostel said he had always wanted to find a way to to combine his love of water and cooking and that now, he was doing something he really enjoyed, but he said "What next?" What happens when you have reached the goals you set, when you are content with life? I think every person has a hunger. An insatiable hunger to strive for more. Whether it be more knowledge, greater spiritual ascension, better physical fitness, it is a never ending chase. But instead of more, why is it so hard to be? To be present, in the moment, to enjoy what is happening right now, because the now is not something you get back. I got caught in the rain today and I didn't mind because I had on my rain gear. I set out for what I thought was the entrance to the Arenal Volcano Park. I came to find out, after walking for 20 minutes, that I was very far from where I wanted to be. So, I turned around and I walked. I walked back to where I was and as I did, I ran into a couple who told me that I had to see La Fortuna Waterfalls. I saw a sign for it and followed it. That turned out to be another hour walk, but I made it and I arrived at the falls to have my breath completely taken away. I must say, it was one of the more beautiful falls I've seen.

La Catarata de La Fortutna

 Enjoy the moments. Peace and blessings.

Sabbatical: One Bag

What do you put into a suitcase for six weeks of travel? I have never been on a trip that lasted longer than two weeks, let alone with just one bag. One carry on bag. I suppose I should back up a few steps. Every seven years, the company I work for grants it's salaried employees eight weeks of additional paid vacation. You can use this time however you choose, and this magical time is known as sabbatical.

sabbatical noun: a period of time during which someone does not work at his or her regular job and is able to rest, travel, do research, etc.

One bag.
The worst possible thing that can happen when you are travelling is lost luggage. My first course of action was to identify a single travel bag that would be versatile, functional and easily fit into the overhead compartment of a standard airplane. After researching several different sites and bags, I settled on the Deuter Transit 50 for it's versatility, durability and zip off daypack. Great for the single traveler hopping on and off of buses, doing day hikes and without need for all of the extraneous addons of typical backpacking packs. I picked it up for $143.00 on Moosejaw.

So, now, I had the bag and we are back to the original question: What do you put into a suitcase for six weeks of travel?

I suppose that depends on where you are travelling, and what you intend to do. I was planning to travel to Costa Rica (3 weeks), Peru (1 week), Argentina (1 week) and Colombia (1 week). This presented a bit of a challenge because I would be doing a mixture of adventure and urban travel. I wanted to snorkel, hike, zipline, tango, attend my first professional soccer match and learn how to surf--among other things. The range in temperature: 40-85 Farenheit.

What's in my bag?

1. Journal and pen
2. White long sleeved cotton shirt
3. Black danskin long sleeve mock turtleneck
4. Black Prana convertible pants -- Best. Pants. Ever.
5. Black stretchy pants
6. 2 multicolored print scarves
7. 2 maxi convertible tube dresses which double as skirts (one black, one animal print)
8. 1 black sweater
9. 1 cream knitted hoodie (Roxy-- love it!)
10. 1 sports bra
11. 1 cream colored hemp material long skirt
12. 1 pair board shorts
13. 1 regular bra
14. 1 athletic bikini
15. 1 one piece black halter swimsuit
16. Rashguard (this I could have left at home, the surf instructor provided one)
17. 1 pair waterproof socks
18. 1 white cotton t-shirt
19. 1 black cami
20. 1 white cami
21. 1 tan cami
22. 1 gray cami
23. 1 animal print 1/2 t-shirt
24. 1 pair mid-calf jean shorts
25. 1 pair cotton long socks
26. 1 pair black yoga pants
27. 1 island print cotton halter dress
28. 1 long sleeve embroidered hemp-material "hippie"shirt.
29. 7 pair of underwear
30. 1 pair of black gloves
31. 1 Orange knit hat
32. 1 army green baseball cap
33. 1 black Marmot waterproof jacket
34. 1 pair Teva TIRRA hiking sandals
35. 1 pair Born Elsa sandals
36. 1 pair of "fashion"boots
37. 1 hobo bag for a more fashionable alternative to the day pack when in an urban setting :-)
38. Norwex towel and washcloth
39. 1 Argentinian futbol jersey :-)
40. 2 pair of ear plugs
41. Electronics: Canon PowerShot D20 waterproof camera, Samsung ATIV 500 Tablet, iPod, 500GB external hard drive (for backing up pics), USB mouse, lighweight bluetooth keyboard, Droid Bionic, Casio Tough Solar waterproof watch, USB rechargeable flashlight
42. Toiletries: Lush body butter (take THAT TSA), Soapwalla Deodorant cream, contact solution, arm & hammer toothpaste, scalp olive oil, shampoo
43. Feminine products -- I wanted to just take a DivaCup, but, I hadn't tested it out yet, so I opted for conventional products on this trip.
44. Reading (ebooks): Girl Who Played with Fire, Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Half the Sky, World War Z, Bossy Pants (audio), Behind the Beautiful Forevers (audio), The New Yorker
45. Accessories: Wooden jewelry, sun glasses 
46. Makeup: 1 mascara, 1 neutral (brown), palette eyeshadow, brow pencil, lip gloss, black eye liner
47. Travel Pharmacy (various medications for travelling, I won't inventory this, but suffice it to say I am amply prepared for montezuma's revenge or any other common disease that besets travelers).
48. Outlet adapter, I need to add a 3 prong adapter in this, as presently I only have 2 prong.
49. Water bottle
50. Water bladder from my camelback, which I have not used at all!
51. Plastic baggies
52. Snacks! Lifesavers on long bus rides. I had lara bars, I have since replaced them with local snacks.

One bag to rule them all: Deuter Transit 50

That may not be an all inclusive list, but it pretty much captures everything that is in my bag (so far as I can recall). I didn't have to bring any styling products for my hair because I am sporting braids, circa 1993 Poetic Justice style! To anyone who will be travelling for an extended period of time, I would recommend the theme song "Bag Lady," as you will definitely need to "pack light."

I have been in Costa Rica for two and a half weeks now and I must say that my all-stars have been the convertible pants, hiking sandals and rain jacket. There were things that I considered putting in my bag, but they just wouldn't fit, these included: pair of flip flops, tennis shoes (chucks).  I will write about each country as I complete my journey there, but I wanted to start with what I put in my bag. Until next time!

Hippie shirt, jean shorts and tevas

On Reading Cloud Atlas

"In an individual, selfishness uglifies the soul; for the human species, selfishness is extinction." 

I just finished reading Cloud Atlas, a novel by David Mitchell. It is brilliant. I don't use that word frivolously. I sincerely mean it. I rarely read a work of fiction and find myself congratulating the author aloud, but I did. I have stayed up far too late for the past several nights reading. I was engrossed, enthralled, absolutely delighted by the intricately woven twists and turns, and the artful manner in which he connects the disparate stories to craft a delicious scavenger hunt. I ferreted away information while reading, paying close attention to the seemingly insignificant, so that I could make the connection and piece together the puzzle determining how one tale was linked to the next. This man knows how to tell a story.

Cloud Atlas, at its core, underscores the age old struggle of the powerful and the powerless. President Lincoln understood this well when he said "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." No matter the time -- future or past, present or otherwise, there will always be those that desire power and the unfortunate souls who are collateral damage in their struggle to obtain more of it. A greed driven culture of conquest requires a need to justify the evils that must exist in order to sustain that culture. If our contentment is only bought with consumption, we will be eternally hungry. Always desiring more. More power, more status, more intelligence.

"Yay, Old Uns' Smart mastered sicks, miles, seeds an' made miracles ord'nary, but it din't master one thing, nay, a hunger in the hearts o' humans, yay, a hunger for more"

more what?

"Oh, more gear, more food, faster speeds, longer lifes, easier lifes, more power, yay. Now the Hole World is big, but it weren't big 'nuff for that hunger what made Old Uns rip out the skies an' boil up the seas an' poison the soil with crazed atoms an' donky 'bout with rotted seeds so new plagues was borned an' babbits was freakish birthed...human hunger birthed the Civ'lize, but human hunger killed it too."

In order for a small concentration of power to remain, a large percentage of the population must be kept powerless. To treat a person poorly, you must somehow convince yourself that they are deserving of such treatment. In C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity, he posits "If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more." and I do not disagree. You have to not only convince yourself of this, but others as well, in order for them to allow such ill treatment to continue. As Cloud Atlas explains it:

"In a cycle as old as tribalism, ignorance of the Other engenders fear; fear engenders hatred; hatred engenders violence; violence engenders further violence until the only "rights." the only law, are whatever is willed by the most powerful"

The effect that such atrocities have on the perpetrators is to make them callous to the suffering of those they deem "less than," it in turn makes them less human. But we are all connected. The thread that binds the stories of Cloud Atlas, binds each of us and just as one act of hatred will inevitably begat more of the same, it is also true that one act of kindness begets more kindness. I love a book that causes you to question the goodness of humanity to lament the evils of society, but then, to ask yourself: "what is my role?" The closing paragraph of the novel ends with such a call:

"He who would do battle with the many-headed hydra of human nature must pay a world of pain & his family must pay it along with him! & only as you gasp your dying breath shall you understand, your life amounted to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean!"
Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?

So, what is your drop?

Shine.

Hello.

I haven't posted an entry since...June, of last year. It is not that I haven't had a multitude of thoughts, I just have not made the time to write them here. I had to write this, because I know someone needs to hear it, I needed to hear it.

"Everything has a purpose, clocks tell you the time, trains take you to places. I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured if the entire world was one big machine... I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too." --Hugo Cabret 

Do not, ever, diminish who you are in order to allow someone else to be comfortable. Anyone. Not your friends, family, co-workers, spouses, acquaintances, no one. Life is short. We only get one shot at this, and the time we have is precious, far too precious to spend even one moment hiding who it is that we were created to be. More important than that: someone needs you to be exactly who you are in order to fulfill who it is that they are meant to be. We are all here for a reason.

If we spend our lives and energy worrying about what will cause someone else discomfort, what they will think of us, we do ourselves and the world a great disservice. Each time we hide, we retreat further into ourselves until eventually, we just...disappear.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." --Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Ch. 7, Section 3 (1992)

We must be careful who we allow to speak into our lives, who we allow to impact our spirits, because the people we surround ourselves with can be our greatest detractors or our biggest supporters. Everyone needs encouragement in order to grow. Anyone who constantly feels the need to remind you of how normal, average, and insignificant you are, is someone who does not yet love themselves enough to be loving toward anyone else...even if they want to be. The world is full of people who have been rejected and made to feel inadequate. If they have not healed, those around them become collateral damage. It is our job to love them, but not at the expense of shrinking from who we know in our hearts we are called to become.

There is far too much darkness in the world to extinguish, or even diminish the light we carry. We have to shine. We were born to shine. We were made to shine.

What I am going to say next, makes me want to cry: all of the love you have to give, will never be enough love to make someone love themselves. Let me repeat that. ALL of the love you have to give will NEVER be enough love to MAKE someone love themselves. We are not meant to fill that void, if we try, we will soon find that we are drained. Loving a person is not easy, but healthy love is reciprocal, and though hard fought, has the effect of making you shine brighter.

I want you to do something. I want you to take a pen and paper, and write down every person that you love. Are you their biggest cheerleader? You should be able to cheer on, from your heart, everyone who you love. If you cannot do that, you are not loving them. You should ask yourself, why? If your actions cause friction, tension, silence, separation, you are diminishing the people who you say you love.

I want you to take the challenge to give the people you love license to shine. You may not yet know how to do this, but it is simple: look into their eyes, observe their body language, you will see that they are shining, it will exude from every pore. Lift them up, speak kind words, give of yourself when there is nothing that you expect in return, look for ways to lighten their burdens, hug them, personify love.

I want you to give yourself license to shine. Pursue your passions. Your dreams are not silly, stupid, crazy or unreachable, they exist in your heart because you have the unique life experience to steward them, to shepherd them and to carry them to completion. If you are reading this, even if I do not know you, I want to tell you that I love you.

Do not be afraid to be who you were created to be, you need to be that to fulfill your purpose, and the world needs us each to shine brightly in order to illuminate the darkness.

Weighing In

I have not blogged (on my personal blog) in over a year. Thoughts pop into my head and as quickly as the seed is planted a responsibility usurps my fleeting desire to write. So, here I am, sitting at the keyboard, finally. I intended to go to bed early tonight because I went to bed far too late and got up far too early yesterday. I wanted a nice cup of mint tea before I went to bed, warm beverages put me in a sleepy mood. I opened the pantry, only to be accosted by a moth. I don't like things flying unexpectedly at my face. So, I killed it. And then, there was another, and another...until in disgust I started removing all of the boxes from my pantry shelf to find that they had taken up residence there. There went my early bed time. I have spent the last 2 hours cleaning out my cabinet and throwing away food. At the end of the ordeal, I put my water on to boil, let my mint tea steep and I thought: "Why do I love butterflies and hate moths?" They are essentially the same, right?

Why is it that I am delighted when a butterfly lands on me, yet, I swat violently when a moth so much as dares to enter my atmosphere? I came to the conclusion that it's because butterflies are prettier. Beautiful things get a pass in this world. If something is hideous or even slightly displeasing, we have less empathy for it; ugly things suffer. I had to let that marinate.

How must it feel to be passed over, or worse, targeted for ridicule because you are not conventionally attractive? I have been guilty in my lifetime of judging the book by it's cover. If someone smelled bad, seemed not to care about their appearance or, heaven forbid, was obese, I judged them. I am not proud to admit it, but I was extremely intolerant of obesity.

I seized every opportunity to climb atop my fat soapbox, often going on tirades. My friends jokingly remarked that I "hated fat people," to which a typical response would be "I don't hate them, I just don't want to have to subsidize their bad habits" before laying out the laundry list of ailments associated with being overweight and lamenting how I should get health insurance discounts for keeping myself in good shape.  I made insensitive comments, minimized the weight loss struggle ("just stop eating so much and so unhealthily!" I'd think when I saw a large person) and in some ways, disliked overweight people without ever having befriended one. Weightism is one of the last socially acceptable forms of discrimination.

Everyone cannot be a butterfly, but that does not make them any less worthy of love. I know that God created all things for a purpose, yes all things, even those that I do not find beautiful. In 2011 I made a conscious decision to stop speaking so venomously about people who are overweight, to start seeing them with new eyes. In the process I came to a realization about obesity: It is merely an outward manifestation of inward struggle. If we all had to wear our private battles like a badge where everyone could see, it is likely that we would stagger and fall beneath the weight of judgement.

For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you

Saying You're Sorry

It is never easy to admit when you are wrong. Seeking forgiveness is a very humbling experience. You can (and likely will) pour out your heart, having thought very carefully of the words to use and their delivery, but it is left to the person whom you have wronged to either accept or reject. No matter the response, you have to be able to forgive yourself and move forward. I made such an apology and received a terse response which, in all honesty, I deserved. I was not expecting a warm reception, or even a reply but I felt like a jerk nonetheless. An apology should never take long to deliver, the more time you allow to pass, the less likely you will be to make it, and the more hurt the person who deserves it will be. I cannot change what I did, but I can change how I behave in the future. I will not continue to beat myself up about something that has already happened. I will simply do better.

With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility

"Whoso causeth the righteous to go astray in an evil way, he shall fall himself into his own pit: but the upright shall have good things in possession." -- Proverbs 28:10

I have been concerned for some time by the deepening division and the lack of civility in our country's public discourse. The heightened sense disenfranchisement and the inability to come together and find common ground has troubled me. I have feared for the lives of our President and his family and I have prayed for the safety of elected officials across the country. Sadly, I was not surprised by the shootings in Tucson yesterday.

I say this with conviction: Words. Have. Power. Words can inspire hope, break hearts, move nations. Anyone who has been placed in a position that grants them a large audience whose actions they can influence through their words has a responsibility to weigh them carefully and consider their consequences before speaking.

Whoso causeth the righteous to go astray in an evil way, he shall fall himself into his own pit.

We cannot expect that the words we speak do not galvanize people to take action and we cannot absolve ourselves of any accountability simply because the action taken was not performed with our own hand. If a commander in chief sends his troops to war, is he not responsible for the blood shed as a result of his directive?

"An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression." -- Proverbs 29:22

If we know that encouraging anger devolves people to their baser instincts, why feed that emotion? Our energy would be better served finding a positive outlet to express our frustrations instead of yelling and screaming about what isn't being done.

"The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression" -- Proverbs 19:11

I would strongly admonish those in positions of power at this time, not to avoid having a critical discussion on the tone of messaging in all arenas of public discourse. The people are watching and will take note of what decisions are made at this juncture. I only hope that this tragedy can be the catalyst for a change in the way we treat those who do not agree with our points of view.

Arizona Corporation Commission

Hello my legions of followers (ha!) I know you are not used to me waxing political, but, for the next couple of weeks, I am doing a political series. Why? Because I think voting is important, I want to provide some insight for my fellow voters in AZ. I have decided that as I go through my ballot, I will post blog entries on my decisions on who to vote for. Take it or leave it. I am a registered Democrat, and an elected Precinct Committeeman in Legislative District 20, so keep that in mind. I do have a bias, but ultimately, I want to elect officials who will do the job, and do it well. These are my candid opinions, do with them what you will. This blog post is my summary of the Arizona Corporation Commission.

What Is The Corporation Commission?

Article 15 of the Arizona Constitution establishes the Arizona Corporation Commission. Only 7 states have constitutionally formed Commissions. Arizona is one of only 13 states with elected Commissioners. In the 37 other states, Commissioners are appointed by either the governor or the legislature.

In most states, the Commission is known as the Public Service Commission or the Public Utility Commission. Our Commission, however, has responsibilities that go beyond traditional public utilities regulation. These additional roles include facilitating the incorporation of businesses and organizations, securities regulation and railroad/pipeline safety.

By virtue of the Arizona Constitution, the Commissioners function in an Executive capacity, they adopt rules and regulations thereby functioning in a Legislative capacity, and they also act in a Judicial capacity sitting as a tribunal and making decisions in contested matters.

http://www.azcc.gov/Divisions/Administration/about.asp

What are it's term limits?

Officials elected to the Corporation Commission serve a four year term, as determined by the Arizona State Constitution, Article 15, Section 1. http://www.azleg.gov/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/const/15/1.htm

How many people make up the Corporation Commission?

There are five members of the Corporation Commission.

What are the qualifications for this office?

There are none.

How does partisanship play out for the commission?

It would seem that because of the ability to regulate industry, politicians that favor business may be swayed to work in favor of the companies at the expense of the consumer. Inevitably we have to pay the rates, so this is an important office. It means your bills can go up or down depending on who you vote for, and the type of energy available to you (renewable, etc.) will be determined by your vote here.

Why do I care about this office?

I care about the environment. I also do not want my bills to go through the roof, and I believe that when I have a choice of utility providers, meaning COMPETITION in the market, this will provide better rates. I feel that consumers of energy have a responsibility to help pay for it's cost, including chipping in a bit for Research and Development. The Corporation Commission is one legislative body that can do more than many others to get the ball moving on renewable energy. It is my opinion that we need a little risk taking to make that happen, and someone who will stand up to corporations. I think that it is important to be well versed in business and industry to sit on this commission, I feel that energy does not have to have such a high environmental cost.

Terms to note:

RES - Renewable Energy Standard, which in short mandates that 15% of Arizona's energy be generated from renewable sources by the year 2025. You can read more about this here: http://www.renewableenergyworld.com/rea/news/article/2006/03/arizona-passes-15-percent-renewable-energy-standard-44229

A good FAQ with a little more information on the Commission can be found here: http://www.arizonaic.org/news/prezmessage/presmessarchive/32-pm030308

Also, if you have time, give a listen to KJZZ's coverage:

http://kjzz.org/news/arizona/archives/201007/hn_corpreps - Republicans

http://kjzz.org/news/arizona/archives/201007/hn_corpdems - Democrats

Meet the Candidates

My method for assessing the candidates and gathering information is as follows (in this order):

1. I watched the Clean Elections Debates: http://www.azpbs.org/vote2010/
2. I read the candidate statements: http://azcleanelections.gov/2009-2010-docs/General_Candidate_Statement_Pamphlet.sflb.ashx
3. I looked at the candidate endorsements to see who
4. I did a google search to get a sense of what people on either side of the aisle were saying about the candidates.

Below is my take on each candidate, and finally, how I am voting for this position.

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Brenda Burns (R) http://www.brendaburns2010.com/

Endorsements: AZ Chamber of Commerce and Industry, NRA, John McCain, The rest you can find here: http://www.brendaburns2010.com/BrendaBurnsEndorsements.html

Clean Elections Debate Summary

Brenda is a former state legislator who states her accomplishments as regulatory reform, former house Majority Leader and former Senate President. Brenda feels it is important to ensure that the industry has a reasonable rate of return, and the commission should look out for the employees of the companies. She would like to work with the legislature on overlapping issues to provide stability to the industry. Brenda would like to explore deregulation to have free market principles, but wants to be cautious to avoid harming the rate payers or companies. She agrees with RES and feels it is important to keep the energy diversified. Brenda thinks nuclear should be pursued and would listen to the company's recommendations on nuclear. She feels that nuclear can be considered renewable. Most important issue facing the commission: Planning for the future to provide energy needs at lowest possible rates

My opinion: Brenda consistently discusses her concern for the energy companies and mentions deferring to them on several issues, I am a little uncomfortable with that. Her endorsements include several business advocacy organizations and industry players. While I think that the Corporation Commission should work with energy companies to provide Arizonans the best rates and service, they should be independent thinkers. I respect the fact that she disagreed with Barry Wong (who THANKFULLY did not make it through the Republican primary) using the utility companies as a form of immigration law enforcement. In the articles that I read online. Burns is respectful in her disagreements and does not make inflammatory statements or derogatory commentary in a hard partisan manner. She stands on the merits of her own accomplishments and leaves it to the voters to decide what party they would like to represent them. I thought this article was a good summary of where she stands: http://sedonatimes.com/brenda-burns-%E2%80%93-arizona-corporation-commission-republican/

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David Bradley (D) http://www.bradleyforarizona.com/

Endorsements: Sierra Club, AFL-CI to name a few, the rest you can find on the main page of the candidates website

Clean Elections Debate Summary

David Bradley's focus is on developing clean energy standards and planning ahead for growth. He wants to push new industry standards to facilitate green industry growth. David feels that the Commission should not defer to the legislature and thinks it should set the tone, and then work with the legislature. He Agrees with RES, and does not think that nuclear energy is a good investment, it is too unstable. He states that the projects using it have gone over budget and that rate and tax payers would bear the burden. He feels the most important issue facing the commission is planning for the future and jobs.

My Opinion

I really like that Bradley consistently articulates his desire to use the Commission to champion exploration into new forms of energy, instead of relying on finite resources. In some instances he is a little overzealous in his desire to cut out the legislature, it is unrealistic to think that the Corporation Commission can make any strides toward change without having them onboard. Bradley speaks knowledgably about the issues facing Arizona including planning for future growth and the importance of ensuring that considerations are made when communities are built, not just afterward. A good article to read: http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/arizona/politics/unplugged/article_2367b988-9ed1-11df-b218-001cc4c03286.html

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Gary Pierce (R) http://garypierceforarizona.com/

Endorsements: AZ Chamber of Commerce, AZ Right to Life, Arizona Realtors Association to name a few, endorsements are not listed on his site. Google it.

Clean Elections Debate Summary

Pierce is the only incumbent on the ticket. He is a former small business owner and former AZ House Representative. He feels that the role of the Commission is to push agenda items and do rate making. Pierce thinks that the Commission should work with legislature on overlapping issues, and help them implement policies. He stated that utilities have a fixed cost no matter if they are deregulated. Pierce agrees that RES is a good idea. He believes renewable energy, starting out, needs a tariff to offset the cost of infrastructure, research and development as long as the cost does not increase out a reasonable range. Pierce states that line extension should be a compromise between the company and the consumer, local generation of power would benefit both parties. He feels that the most important issue facing the commission is keeping rates low to encourage economic development.

My Opinion: I think that Gary Pierce is well versed in the legalese of the Corporation Commission and has a firm grasp on the important issues that should be addressed. Gary Pierce is the only candidate on the ticket who resorted to party bashing in his statement, he uses the term "Obama-ites" to refer to his opposition, and in articles I found online, threatened to cut off power to Los Angeles (who gets 25% of their power from Arizona) when they boycotted the state over SB1070 (http://www.fireandreamitchell.com/2010/05/19/gary-pierce-commissioner-of-arizona-corporation-commission-threatens-to-cut-off-electricity-flow-to-los-angels-as-payback-for-state-boycott-l-a-mayor-antonio-villaraigosa-responds/). I have no issue with people disagreeing, however, politicians should be respectful and recall that they represent a diverse constituency and should not alienate the people who they are supposed to represent. I don't think that the Corporation Commission should be used for political grandstanding, stick to it's charter, deliver energy at a reasonable cost.

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Jorge L. Garcia (D) - Deceased 10/15/2010

My prayers go out to his family. Out of respect, I will refrain from providing my analysis of this candidate.

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Rick Fowlkes (L) http://rfowlkes.com/positions.html

Endorsements: I could not find any except for 2008 (when Fowlkes ran as a Republican)

Clean Elections Debate Summary

Fowlkes has an MBA from ASU and is a Structural Engineer by profession. He states that he has industry experience in the areas the commission regulates and wants to bring competition to the electric power provider slate. Fowlkes feels that it is most important look out for the rate payers and thinks that industry should not have monopoly status. One of his primary goals, if elected, would be to end the monopoly system for electric power industry in this state. He states that the legislature should work with the Commission, and reminds voters that the Legislature has already acted to end the monopoly system, but the commission has not followed through. Fowlkes feels that industry is rewarded for being inefficient. He thinks that competition will hold down rates better than the Corporation Commission can. He has done over 30 projects with solar, disagrees with RES because of tariffs, and thinks nuclear energy is more economic and should be considered, as well as hydro electric. Fowlkes considers nuclear to be a legitimate alternative to fossil fuels, and nuclear should be considered in the 15% for RES. Fowkles thinks that offline power generation should be considered in rural Arizona. He feels that the most important issue facing the commission is to end the monopoly system and bring about competition.

My Opinion

I am an engineer by profession, and thus, have a great deal of respect for Mr. Folkwes because he is not a career politician. He has really studied this material, and is passionate about making important changes. I do not like that he such a champion for nuclear energy. While I understand that over time, the cost of nuclear (in dollars) levels and becomes cheaper, the cost in the grand scheme is not worth it to me.

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The other two

You'll notice on your ballot that there are two other candidates from the Green party: Theodore Gomez and Benjamin Pearcy. For those of you who follow Arizona politics, you will chuckle, because you will remember the controversy. The story goes that they were recruited by "Republican Party operatives" to "steal votes from the Democrats. " I have no opinion on the matter, however, Neither has a web site, and it is difficult to find ANY information on them. Their statements in the clean elections guide are summarized as such:

Pearcy: "I am a musician, not a politician"

Gomez: "We are homeless and live on Mill Ave"

That's all I have to say about that.

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My Conclusions

During the debates, none of the candidates discussed new technologies for enabling consumers to monitor their energy use or incentives for builders to include infrastructure that will allow them to do so. I think that the Corporation Commission should try harder to engage the rate payers around taking accountability for energy use and educating them on effective ways of saving energy. Now, the good part, who am I voting for?

David Bradley and Rick Fowlkes.

Why? I respect Brenda Burns and any of my Republican friends who choose to vote for her have my stamp of approval, however, I am cautious about her constant mention of deference to the industry. I would never vote for Gary Pierce. While I do believe he is good at what he does, I think that the reason why so much does NOT get done in this country is because of the divisive practices in the two-party system. How can you sit down to work at a table of people who you publicly disrespect and alienate. I do not have a problem with anyone expressing their belief system, but in any other job interviewing process, would it be your strategy to bad mouth all of the other candidates in order to make yourself look good? No. You would do your best to represent who you are and what you stand for, and keep anyone else out of it. I am very tired of people who have no respect for their leadership and practice fear mongering and division. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I hope it helps you!

Knowledge, Wisdom and Understanding

I have been reading in the book of Proverbs lately, and since I write as I read, I thought I would share my musings from a few days ago.

There are three terms used distinctively throughout, and although I know what they mean, I wanted to understand the nuance, so I went to my handy dandy New International Webster' s Standard Dictionary (I don't read with my computer on):

knowledge - Information or awareness gained from study or experience
wisdom - An accumulated body of knowledge
understanding - comprehension, the ability to retain knowledge

I wrote these down, because of this verse: Proverbs 3:19

The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding established heaven

I really wanted to dissect this to better understand and apply it to my life. This is a hidden gem. I can best explain my thoughts using engineering as a metaphor. I can learn math and science and the rules that govern them, how to apply those equations and in so doing, solve them. There are plenty of things that I can construct in my life simply by learning, but until I comprehend, until I internalize, until I do more than gather information and apply rules, I will never produce anything divine.

When you know an equation, you can solve problems, but when you can derive the formula because you comprehend the underlying concepts that the equation is based on, you can discover. Look at Newton, Einstein, Edison..all of the great scientists and mathematicians didn't just apply equations, they wanted to comprehend them. They sought to gain a deeper understanding so that they could deconstruct the mysteries. When that happened, they made transformative discoveries that revolutionised not only their lives, but the lives of countless others!

My take away in short: To learn is earthly, but to comprehend is divine. To approach life based on an accumulated body of knowledge will get me only so far. I tend to be something of a"jack of all trades," learning a little about a lot of things. This can be both good and bad. I am going to choose one thing that I love, and fully commit to creating something...divine! When I do, I will share that with you, and maybe, it will change our lives.