Tuesday, February 24, 2009

a single woman's rant

boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks for girl's number, and so it begins. that silly little dance of getting to know you where you have to invest time up front tolerating people long enough to find out if you are meeting them or "their representative." here is why i hate first conversations:

you ask me stupid questions that i don't feel like answering!
  • "sounds like you're cooking, so you cook huh? you should cook for me." this really makes me NOT want to cook for you...ever.
  • "do you have a picture phone?" why because you're going to ask me to send you a photo? please. stop. really.
  • and my personal all time favorite: "so, i have to ask you this: you are gorgeous, intelligent, sociable...why are you single?" the word 'single' is spoken as though it were some communicable disease people try not to catch. did i ask YOU why you were single? no, i didn't.
this brings me to the real point of this post. why is it that a well adjusted, happy, single woman is called into question? people never seem to get tired of asking. co-workers, well meaning family friends, random guys...and it comes in many forms, but always with some rationalization or analysis about why: "you must party too much," "you're not crazy are you?" "oh i know, you've got a list." but if i were a man, would anyone ask me that question? i'm going to go out on a limb and say that the answer is no.

i could give any number of reasons why (i am single), but at the end of the day it boils down to one simple fact: because i want to be; and i should not have to justify that to anyone, least of all you, mr. met-you-in the-club-first-time-caller.


  1. Eshe, I didn't know you had a blog!

    p.s. I agree that sometimes people forget that just like being married, there is also a blessing in being single!

    I'll keep checking in!

  2. yes ma'am i've been blogging for a couple of years now. not consistently, just when the mood hits. i really love your blog. your family is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing

  3. lol "i know you've got a list" hah!!!

  4. list?! hmmmph. some people...

  5. The last bullet point I can relate to. It's as if the concept that a woman can be single is unimaginable. Sometimes I think I miss a lot of memos when it comes to meeting people.

  6. I think we all at some point have fallen victim to societal archetypes. we find ourselves playing the pre-ordained roles, or attempting to make other people fit them because they are comfortable. living outside of the box is scary because we don't have a manual for that :-)